


Nothing Changes

by Penrose



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: FtM Gavin, M/M, Trans Character, accidental almost transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 06:39:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penrose/pseuds/Penrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael laughs at Gavin when he tells him the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Changes

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted to my [Tumblr](http://spevendielberg.tumblr.com/post/72049838928/nothing-changes-a-mavin-fanfic).

Michael laughs at Gavin when he tells him the truth.

It isn't in a mean way. He doesn't mean to make Gavin feel bad (even though in a way he feels a little bad) and he doesn't think it's funny (even though in a way it is a little funny). The whole situation is just so incredulous to him.

“Are you fucking with me?”

No.

“Did Geoff put you up to this?”

No.

After a pause, “Does anyone else know?”

No one but his family and Geoff.

Gavin takes his eyes away from the grain of the wooden table just in time to witness Michael's chest inflate with a big breath and to see his cheeks puff out as he tries to release it slowly. “So what's your real name then?”

It hurts, because Gavin _is_ his real name. He doesn't hold the word choice against him, because he doesn't know any better. No one really knows any better at first. It's something he constantly has to teach, which he thought he had the patience for when he started on this journey, but after so many years of educating, he is growing sick of it now.

“You know my real name,” he answers curtly.

Michael rolls his eyes, as if he has any right to be agitated when he's the one in the wrong. “You know what I mean, asshole. Your birth name.”

“Gabrielle,” he replies quietly, afraid that the old couple in the booth behind him is listening in and silently judging him.

Michael quirks an eyebrow. “That's pretty,” he compliments.

Gavin hopes he isn't expecting him to be flattered. “I like Gavin better.”

Michael narrows his eyes as he studies him. “Fits you better. Not many Gabrielle's I know can grow a beard like yours.”

Gavin can't help it, he smiles with satisfaction. His facial hair is one of the few things about his body he is actually proud of.

They're both quiet. They have long since finished their burgers and their server has already taken everything but their bottles of beer away. But Gavin insisted they didn't leave yet, because he asked Michael here specifically to reveal the secret he had hidden away. He feels guilty about keeping it away from him for so long, but now that they're both silent and looking around the room at everything but each other, he feels that this is the wrong choice. It's bad timing. He has put Michael in a situation that he doesn't have the tools to escape from.

As Gavin is about to open his mouth to insist that he could take a cab home, Michael says, “You know this doesn't change anything? You look like you're going to be sick.”

Gavin tries to smile, but even he can tell that it only makes him look more ill.

“You don't have to worry about anything. You're still a lovable buttmunch and this is still a good date. I was just surprised. I never would have guessed that you were ever a girl.”

That's because Gavin isn't and never was a girl. He will make Michael understand this in good time, but for now, this was a start. “So...you still want to try this boyfriend thing out?”

“Nothing has changed,” Michael repeats, reaching across the table to take his hand off his beer so he could intertwine their fingers instead.

–

Things do change. It's obvious that Michael doesn't notice it, but Gavin takes a mental note of everything. They haven't wrestled around on the office floor in weeks. As soon as Gavin walks into the room, Michael tones down his (admittedly excessive) profanity. He opens doors for Gavin, he doesn't make fun of him anymore when he catches him watching soap operas on Hulu, when they have their loving moments alone he tucks strands of hair behind his ear like Gavin used to see him do with Lindsay. And all of that would be fine and dandy if it was because Michael is trying to clean up his act and just be a better boyfriend, but Gavin knows that's not what is happening. He has seen this happen enough in his life already. Michael can't help but see him as a girl. And Gavin doesn't have a pair of balls, so he doesn't call him out on it.

Not until recording day. A let's play in GTA V.

“Goddamnit Gavin! We've gone through three jets because of you!” Geoff yells as their beloved virtual aircraft goes up in flames. “We're miles away from the airport you motherfucker!”

Gavin squeaks in laughter until Michael says, “Do you really expect any less from her?”

The air in the room changes. Everyone feels it, but only Gavin and Geoff know what has happened. Michael doesn't even seem to catch on to what he has done.

Gavin wastes no time fleeing the scene, hearing Geoff calling after him but completely ignoring it. He starts off with a brisk walk, but it's not long until the soles of his shoes are pounding against the sidewalk and it feels like it takes seconds to get home, even though it had to have been longer than that. Gavin doesn't cry when the front door shuts behind him, but he sure feels like he should be. He doesn't know what to do other than immerse himself in Halo and alcohol. He doesn't forget why he's upset, but the drinks distract him from why it matters. That is, until Geoff gets home. And the lump that has been caught in his throat all day finally comes loose and the dam breaks, his tears and snot soaking through Geoff's shirt.

Geoff doesn't say a word because he's been through this 50 times before and he knows Gavin likes the silence best.

–

Geoff insists that Gavin goes to bed, but before he climbs under the covers, he has to send a text to Michael. There's no way to put how it feels into words for someone who has never experienced the same thing, but he has to try.

He's up for an hour typing every thought on his iPhone, but the alcohol doesn't help his brain make this impossible task any easier, so he erases the whole thing and replaces it with 'things have changed' and sends that message instead.

–

He doesn't go into work the next morning, and even though Geoff calls him every insult equivalent to “pussy” in the book, he doesn't try to force him to go either. It's kind of nice to be able to sleep in on a weekday for once. It's not often he gets to do that anymore.

His goal is to sleep for the whole day if he can, just to make time go by faster and to will his hangover away, but he's awoken at 10 by his screeching text sound. He curses himself for forgetting to put his phone on vibrate, and he tries to go back to sleep, but he has a nagging feeling that it is a text he should be reading.

It's from Michael.

'You're right, things have changed. But Geoff just cussed me out for about half an hour and he's set me straight.'

Gavin unfortunately doesn't quite believe it. He is mad and has every right to be, so he doesn't send anything back.

As soon as his head has hit his pillow again, there's another message.

'He gave me a list of things I shouldn't be doing. Like an actual, literal, handwritten list. I've done almost everything on that list. You could have fucking told me that this was bothering you.'

Of course Michael is blaming Gavin for this. Like he is choosing to be difficult and depressed.

'I would have stopped. I didn't know you didn't like me teasing you about “making you into a real man” and all that shit. I feel stupid now because it seems obvious that you would hate that.'

'And the flowers. Dudes don't give other dudes flowers. Even boyfriend dudes.'

'And I don't need to see old photos of you. I know why you were making excuses about showing them to me now.'

'And I shouldn't be shocked that drag queens don't turn you on. Man, I'm such an idiot.'

Gavin slowly goes from irritation that he isn't allowed to fall asleep to a new fondness for Michael. Because he knows this is the closest Michael ever gets to apologizing, and it is actually kind of sweet.

'And I won't pressure you into sex anymore. I should be more thoughtful about that.'

Gavin has to reply. 'I love you, you donut.'

Michael doesn't text anything back. He calls him. He asks him to repeat that phrase about 20 times, parroting the same words back. Neither of them get sick of saying it.

“Things are gonna change, Gavvy,” Michael says before he has to hang up and go back to work. “This time they'll be good changes.”

–

“You can be on top if you want,” Michael insists. “I can wait. We'll get you a strap on or something, and then we can--”

“Shut up,” Gavin huffs against the skin of Michael's neck, writhing in his lap. “We can do that next time. I trust you.”

“Are you sure?” he replies, though the need in his voice and the fingers curling around Gavin's hips in a death grip make it clear that he's really hoping Gavin doesn't change his mind.

“Michael, don't even pretend you're not as hard as a rock right now,” Gavin growls. “And I've got it just as bad as you do.” He nips at his earlobe, making him groan. He doesn't try to hold back the jerk his hips make in an effort to grind against Gavin. And Gavin makes no effort to hide the fact that he was grinding back.

“I don't want you to feel pressured,” Michael says, because he is the biggest sweetheart underneath the Jersey rough exterior. “We can take our time...”

“Am I acting like I want to take my time?” Gavin is surprisingly nimble at unbuttoning Michael's shirt when his face is buried in his neck, his scruff leaving red marks across the pale skin of his collarbone.

Michael grins and pulls his glasses off, not paying attention to where he's setting them down. In one swift movement, he has Gavin flat on his back and sandwiched between Michael's body and the worn leather of the Ramsey couch. “Does this mean I finally get to see your body?”

Gavin nods and gulps, because he wants this more than anything, but he's never been comfortable enough with a person to go shirtless, let alone show off his entire body. His entire abomination of a body that is still trapped between the soft curves he gained in puberty and the sharp angles that testosterone shots give him.

“We can take our time,” Michael repeats softly, pulling Gavin's shirt over his head when he gains the courage to let him. Michael's eyes widen. “Jesus, you're hairier than most cis guys I know.”

Gavin smiles, because he's pleased with that hair, and also because Michael is learning the right vernacular. “Looked right strange before I had surgery.”

“Bet it did,” Michael agrees. His fingertips trace over the scars under his pecs, making Gavin shiver unexpectedly. “You're beautiful.”

“You haven't seen the lower half yet,” Gavin reminds him, sounding bitter.

“I don't care about that,” Michael replies, lifting Gavin's legs so they wrap around his waist and grinding him down into the cushions. “You make me horny no matter what.”

The leather sticks to Gavin's back from the sweat forming on his skin. “You're such a mingy little pisspot.”

“You love it,” Michael retorts. “Just like how I love you.”

A lot of things changed since the day Gavin told him his secret, but Michael never changes his mind about Gavin.


End file.
